“If you get pregnant before you get married your life is over”
This is one of the lies that Noelle believed before becoming pregnant and being able to make healthy choices for her child which included choosing adoption.
Breaking stereotypes is such an important part of teaching important topics and adoption is definitely no exception.
We decided to share this video from BraveLove because it gives the truth about adoption and sheds light on wrong beliefs that many moms dealing with a crisis pregnancy are facing. So many times parents are told myths that are meant to scare them into not placing a child for adoption by people who do not fully understand what a wonderful choice adoption can be. Noelle shows us that sometimes it is one of the most beautiful experiences we could choose to be a part of so let’s look at Noelle’s pregnancy and adoption experience. In it, we get to see from her (the birth mom) point of view and learn the truth about adoption.
Realizations Noelle had:
- She realized that her life was not over because of an unplanned pregnancy.
- She learned the birth parents did not get to make all the choices while she was left out.
- She was able to take an active role in choosing the type of parents who would be considered for adoption.
- She was able to choose if she wanted to meet the adoptive parents.
- She did not consider her unplanned pregnancy as a curse or punishment. She saw that God used the situation to help place a baby into the perfect situation for them.
- She has been able to see the growth and progress the child has made and how beautiful her life has turned out to be.
- She learned shame was NOT something she needed to feel.
- She believes 9 months of her life were worth going through to give a child a chance
Noelle’s story is one of many that you can find on bravelove.org and while hers is inspiring it is definitely not the only one speaking the truth about the adoption process, a process that has been surrounded by stigma and wrong beliefs for much too long. Brave mothers all over are telling their stories about choosing to place their child with an adoptive family and in doing so they are sharing that there are more choices than what most people even consider when finding themselves in a crisis pregnancy. Many women have been led to believe that the only options are to abort or parent and this is not the case. Considering adoption as something to be ashamed of or to hide keeps us from truly understanding how many families have been impacted positively by adoptions – both those placing a child for adoption and those adopting a child. Yes, gaining a new family member is a dream come true for adoptive parents but choosing to place a child for adoption is a way that birth parents can offer a gift to their child which will be with them their entire life. A gift most of us may never understand the beauty and blessing of.
We know that you probably have a lot of voices giving their own opinions about what you should and should not do. Feel free to contact us at Open Door Pregnancy Center to speak with someone who is here to support you and help YOU make educated decisions in what can be a scary time. We would love to help you gather facts about all the choices you have about your pregnancy.
While waiting for your call, let us share a few phrases we have heard that we want to clarify to help set your mind at ease, even if just a bit.
- Giving up a child for adoption – parents are not giving up a child, they are choosing to place a child in a home that would be best for them.
- Being adopted is an embarrassment – being adopted is an honor for those who could end up in a worse situation otherwise
- An adopted child could never be loved as much as a biological child – Whether a family has biological children or not, from the outside looking in most people will never know if a family has adopted children. The family shows love to all children equally.
- I will never feel ok having more children in the future. – While ALL parenting options can be challenging. It IS possible to trust that you made the best decision for your child and that you will do the same for your future children. What is best for one child is not what is best for another. Prayerfully considering what is right for yourself and each child is the best way to know that you are doing all you can to create a good life for your children and can be confident in your decision moving forward.
Can we promise that every adoption story is as beautiful as the one that Noelle shared? No, of course not. What about those who have grown up living in situations where adoption could have been considered but was not? Their lives may have been different had placing them for adoption been considered in their case. This is why stories like Noelles are so important. They help birth parents realize that they have the ability to do everything they can to give their child the best possible outcome, even if that means living with a different family.
That decision is BRAVE.
That decision is POWERFUL.
That decision is SELFLESS and KIND.